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NotesMe: I don't take well to his personality. Alex: Well, he acts like knowing things is a big deal. That's the thing. Me: Knowing things doesn't mean you understand them. And plenty of people know lots of things! It's like, congratulations, you read a book and remembered facts from it! Here's a cookie. It's a Stephen Hawking cookie. It turns you into Stephen Hawking for a day. Alex: Fact: Stephen Hawking was just some dude until he ate too many. PARADOX. -
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treesahquiche replied to your quote: Don’t have a heart attack. How am I going to sex…You probably wouldn’t die if you got to the hospital fast enough. In which case, there’s always somnophilia and hospital kink. Your libido — or, well, Alex’s — will find a way.
Thanks, Teresa. 100% comfort = achieved.
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Notes"Don’t have a heart attack. How am I going to sex you up more, if you’re dead?"Alex, interested as always in my health and well-being
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NotesAlex: What are their names in "Ladyhawke"? Me: Isabeau and Etienne Navarre. Alex: What!? But that's our names! Me: Um. No. That's my name, and Etienne Navarre. Alex: Didn't you know? There's no direct translation for my name in Russian, but that's what it means. Me: ETIENNE NAVARRE is the translation of your name in Russian! Wait, I mean-- Alex: But when we came through France they were like, no, your name will be Alexandre. Me: You are full of such. shit. Alex: But then I was cursed by an evil bishop. Named JT. -
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Notes FioricetThis prescription is from a year ago, and I remember it never helping so I haven’t taken it in as long. I gave it another chance today so I could stop feeling pain for every shade of light in my field of vision. It worked really well and pretty fast. The bottle says it’s expired.
Alex: “If the thing fits the thing, then the thing works, right?”
Teresa: “Chemicals don’t degrade that fast, so expiration dates are basically a sham.”
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treesahquiche replied to your post: “Let’s make a baby” is the most terrifying pick-up…I’d be totally okay with this as long as the guy was 6’2”, lean muscle, good teeth, symmetrical, negative for the baldness gene, non-carrier for recessive genetic disorders, 140+ IQ, and at least a six-figure salary. #reproductive mercenary
“Hey, baby, let’s genetically engineer a miracle.”
I love everyone in this bar.
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This is pretty much how I feel like my relationship with Liara went.
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My girlfriend and I forgot what an actual chupacabra is supposed to look like, so we made one up using animals indigenous to South America.
“Wait, what is a chupacabra?”
“I can’t remember. Is it part goat? Or does it eat goats?”
“It has to be part goat. And maybe alpaca?”
“And instead of the alpaca’s head, it has a snake’s head, bobbing all around like an alpaca’s. Only it’s a snake. Hissssss.”
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"It’s really easy. Just say, ‘Pat, you had sex in my apartment, so now you need to return the favor and let me come over to watch the new Avatar series.’"
Alex, advising me on how to convince someone I’ve met only once that he should let me watch Legend of Korra on his TV
