a heart will always stay one day too long

respectissexy:

And then I got an anonymous “ask” saying that although “college taught me some big words” I am very naive and have no idea what it’s like to be married to someone who starts crossdressing.

The latter is perfectly true, and the asker was right in pointing out that in fact, I do not know what I would do in those situations. I just speculate, and perhaps the speculations are based on too-optimistic assumptions about my own nature. That’s quite fair. But I maintain that “til my husband dons a skirt do us part” is not love, at least not love solid enough for anybody to build a marriage on.

Also: boo hoo, your condescension about my vocabulary and the fact that I’m currently a college student totally damaged my credibility

This was recently on my mind—Meredith and I were talking about Modern Love today because she’s submitting for the autobiography class she shares with Nina—and then I read Tracey’s really good first post about this topic. And, well, I immediately proceeded to the NY Times website in an attempt to find the article I was thinking of. And while these are about relationships with trans* persons, and not crossdressing, here rolls out Bella’s linkspam.

In my attempts to find the first article, I found this one, which is about a relationship that didn’t survive a female to male transition, and it deals with a lot of what Tracey was discussing in her original post, mostly what relationships are built on and how they survive.

Then I used a slightly higher level of GoogleFu and found the one that I was originally searching for, about a marriage with a partner undergoing male to female transition. I really love this article, mostly because it is fucking filled to the brim with love, which is the kind of Modern Love that I like. The ones with divorces usually make me cry, because I’m a sap who reads the NY Times wedding section on Sundays when I’m back at home.